So Much To Do

Christmas is almost upon us, time seems to move so fast.  I had a meeting with my Counselor (hi Jen) I had scheduled it in expectation of having been at my friends birth.  Needless to say she held out on me. Rather the baby held out on all of us.  Session went very well, I cried when I told her that I'm pregnant again.  It was the first time I've cried since we found out.  Like she said, crying doesn't have to mean sad, but maybe there was a little fear mixed in.  I know full well that it is perfectly normal to be afraid after having lost one child, that something will happen again.  I told my Counselor how frustrated C was the other day as I was explaining to our friend Kim how chemicals in canned foods that leach from the metal can are not good for pregnant moms and babes in bellies, he hollered something along the lines of, "ya know we did everything right last time and we still got fucked", and she brought to light how extraordinarily helpless we are.  He is right, there are no guarantees.  I made all the right choices, and my baby still died.  It certainly doesn't mean that I'm going to start making poor choices, (there may have been joking about going out and purchasing some crack and heroin and maybe having better luck this time, Joking folks, JOKING, also I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for such things) I will still be just as careful as I was when I was pregnant with P.  So I chose to make wise, informed choices for my child and myself, and I know that that is all that I have control over.  The rest, sadly is not up to me.  Today I stumbled upon a site thanks to a twitter buddy about pregnancy after loss, and advice from moms who have been there.  What a wonderful place to go to for reassurance!  You can find it here.

C has been down with the sickness this week, fevers as high as 104.5, yesterday being day 6 of it I was finally able to convince him to go to the doctor.  Visited with the new doctor at our doctor's office, and I've decided we like her.  She was very thorough with C, and confirmed what we were pretty darn sure of, he has a virus, and at this point there is nothing to be done.  I have not (cross your fingers, knock on wood) caught what he has.  I think he's beginning to feel better, he's becoming more active around the house.  I hate it when he's sick, neither of us sleep well, and its frustrating that I can't fix it.

This weekend it snowed.  I thankfully had the time off from work.  This is the view from my kitchen window.

I was able to finish my great nephews (boy it feels strange to say that, I'm too young to have a great anything) santa hat during the storm and it went on it way to him on monday.

I got a text from my niece on Tuesday with the recipient happily wearing his new hat.

Don't ya just wanna kiss those cheeks!!!! He is such a happy baby.  I also managed to sneak off to a spinning class on Sunday after church.  I had such a wonderful time, and best of all, I made YARN!  The class was in Gretna, a quick shot out the interstate, and so totally worth the drive.  Hosted by Tonya of Tonya's Cute by Design, the class was only 10 bucks, and because I was the only person for this weeks class I was lucky enough to get her full attention.  She was so very patient with me and my total in experience with spinning.  Her store is not just a yarn store, she has all sorts of fibers in the rough, as well as all the tools necessary to transform them into yarn!  She also carries locally made soaps and lotions, handmade knits knit by local artists, looms, wheels, spindles, needles and hooks, felting supplies, and last but not least yarn.  Lovely beautiful yarn. Really, if you're local you should go there, if you want to carpool or want company just call, I'll gladly go out again!  So back to spinning, I made this!

Thats right, two ply wool yarn!  Its uneven has heck but that's okay!  Later that evening as C and I were sitting down to watch a movie I decided to get the wheel out and spin the rest of the fiber I got for the class.  You get 2oz of fiber with the class btw, so the amount of fiber you get pays for the class itself.  I learned that you have to draft your fiber nice and thin, like so.

Then you spin it SLOWLY into a single ply and try and keep it even. Btw, that part is hard. 

Next comes plying, I like that part, you can go fast. At which point you end up with something like this, if you let go to take a fuzzy picture, that is.  

When I was done plying I had an entire bobbin full of my very own homespun yarn.  And I felt really really good about it.  Even though it is bad, bad yarn, I believe it is perfect yarn for a beginner! 

Then it got wound onto my brand new niddy noddy, also purchased at Tonya's.

I then placed ties at eight different points on the yarn so as not to get it tangled before it went for its first swim.

After about a half hour soak in wool wash and warm water I rolled it up in a towel and walked on it to get the majority of the moisture out, before hanging it up on a chair to dry.

Once that was all finished, I started knitting a baby sweater.  It was first brought to my attention by the YarnHarlot.  It is the Seamless Kimono in Madelinetosh Merino in Cousteau, and oh my gosh is it loverly.

That is as far as I have gotten.  That is my fifth go at it, I apparently am unable to properly read a pattern, and then I didn't follow the instructions for the increases properly either, and then decided that I didn't like the way that they increases were knitting up, I couldn't get them to knit without leaving holes, so I just did them my own way.  I am smitten with it, it is so very very soft, I can't wait to get it finished.  I'm already planning another one, one size larger, in 3 mos size, as the one above is newborn sized.  I'll be doing the next one in Madelinetosh Merino in Baltic.

I've been knitting a little on my last sisters pair of socks, admittedly, they haven't come very far.

I also got a new toy, that much like my spinning wheel I am learning how to use.  My new to me drum carder.  Got it at Tonya's as well.  Had to go home and sleep on it after my class, as a drum carder is an investment, but if you're going to be purchasing fiber in the raw, it is worth it.

One last addition to this post is that I got a little festive, and I truly mean a little.  I wasn't going to decorate, or put up any decorations this year.  Just wasn't feeling it. Ended up at Sams Club with mom and they had predecorated christmas trees that are perennials.  I'm a sucker for plants, so for 19 bucks I got a small tree/shrub that will live past christmas, and hopefully not leave my house full of dried needles that I will find for the next three years, and no I don't wanna talk about it.  Also you'll note the Christmas cactus that I got from church, they were tagged with our names already, and I was so tempted to switch mine, because as you can see it is PINK.  If you're not very familiar with my color likes and dislikes, I am not a fan of pink.  At all. But I kept it anyway.  I know some friends and family who are huge fans of pink that might get a starter from this (dare I say it) almost pretty salmon pink cactus.  Please note that I haven't started this years Christmas knitting yet. Yes I know there are only 17 days till Christmas, and no I don't wanna talk about that either.

Big News!

We (C & I) have managed to create a teeny tiny ball of cells!  Half his, half mine, and we are FREAKING ECSTATIC!!! So we haven't really told anyone outside of our family and close friends that we were leaving ourselves open to having another baby, trying really isn't the right word.  We "tried" the first two months. Holy buckets did that feel like work. Sex, not supposed to be work, totally got THAT memo.  I told C that we were done "trying".  He said "Thank God".

So we stopped trying, and simply began enjoying each other again.  Two months later, Viola! I got up and POAS this morning, set it on the cabinet and went back to bed. I was tired, and I was pretty sure it was too early for it to be positive.  So when I got up to get ready to meet my dad at the hospital for surgery (I'll get to that in a moment), I checked the stick and this is what I saw

Uber faint I know, but I looked, and looked again, then went running back into the bedroom and flipped the light on.  Woke C up, all squinty eyed and shoved it in his face saying "SEE, SEE the line!!"  He replied, "um, no, not really, um I can't tell, cuz I can't see, cuz I'm SLEEPING" So I took the stick away and tried my darndest to pee again, both the shower and the sink turned on to help, ten minutes later, not happenin.  Downstairs for breakfast then, and back upstairs to get ready.  Finally had to pee, so I got out what I thought was just a regular clear blue easy, turned out it wasn't just a regular, it was digital!!!  Figured, well, this is gonna be a for sure, or not, no trying to discern a line.  So....

TADA!

No foolin, we did it! 

C is happy, and reserved.  He is my mister logic.  He's concerned about how early it is and that we're still at a high risk for loss.  He throws numbers, and percentages at me.  I full well understand this.  But I have learned to love what I have been given for as long as I can.  I can only enjoy this moment for as long as it lasts.  I will try my best not to worry until I've got something to worry about.  I also can't promise you that tomorrow I will be able to hold it together, so as always, one day, sometimes one hour, at a time.

Now onto dad.  Has had an area on his abdomen from a previous surgery that was simply not healing.  This had happened before, and there was an abscessed stitch which they had to remove.  So I was figuring it was the same thing again.  It turned out I was right, stitch removed, dad sewn up, and onward we go.  

Lets talk about knitting! This week I have been working on my last sisters socks, and they have come this far

  

They are kind of flying along as it is a wonderfully simple pattern of K, K2TOG, and YO.  :)

I also sat down on a night I was able to get off of work and did this

A gift for a friend who's having a baby supposedly around christmas, but the baby I do believe has other plans, as in her doctor doesn't think she'll make it to Sunday.  But that's ok, because the hat she wants to bring him home in is now done.

So while at the hospital today I cast on another one for my great nephew who is 8 months old. It knits up so fast I just couldn't resist.  It's Santa Hat for Babies from Ravelry of course.  I used Caron Simply Soft in Autum Red, and White, and then a white eyelash yarn that I promptly lost the ball band to.

I also got to play Wilderness Woman and spent almost 2 hours grinding up some of the deer that my lovely C shot this year.  He brought home both a male and a female, which hung for a week and aged.  Oh my, my, my that is some of the tenderest venison I have ever had.  Let me say that I feel extraordinarily blessed that I have a man who is able to resourcefully put meat on our table (he also cooks it, bless him).  As he pointed out, the initial investment in the gun and such is significant, but for the hundreds of pounds we put away each year, I am ever so grateful.  (more money for yarn right? ssssshhhh)

Just to give you an idea of the size of my kettle. That session yielded 24 pounds of ground.  We're still not done butchering them both yet.

 *Sidenote: the cords in the background of this picture is why *I* should not be put in charge of the electronics. Just sayin.

And here, is Mow.  Mow loves, and by loves I do mean LOVES to lay on my yarn.  If I happen to get up and walk away, I will bet the bank that if he's awake, and see's the abandon'd yarn, he will be on it lickety split.  He also doesn't mind laying on the yarn if I'm actively knitting with it.

I also had a knock down drag out fight/phone call with my middle sister the day after Thanksgiving.  Yes, that would be the same one who made me go pound wood just three day prior.  Again, I won't get into the dirty details, suffice to say that I will no longer be attending family functions in which she is present, I will gladly celebrate the holiday's with my mother and father at a later date.  C is super excited as this now means all scheduled holidays will be spent with his family. (he totally had a shit eatin grin on his face and did a happy dance).  After I got off the phone with her, I promptly went outside, with my protective eyewear, and beat the heck out of the log again. *sigh*  My friend Kim pointed out to me that what does it say about our relationship if I am driven to the point of going out and beating up a poor piece of wood after dealings with her.  I've just decided, that blood relation or no, life is too damn short to me that stressed out, and that upset.

I'll close with a couple of quick family photos, the first is us preparing for the family photo, the second is my sisters, mom, and my niece (by marriage god love her, she's the youngest blond, third from the left, the one who's look says, I'm so happy I don't have to live with these people) Also, let me just say that the second photo is not staged.  Its just my sisters at their most typical. :) Enjoy.